I’ve been messing with AI stuff at work lately, and I’ve been getting asked about the fried rice I post every so often based off of leftovers, so why not combine the two? I took my basic ingredients into Chat GPT, and after not thinking the recipe sounded sassy enough, asked it to add some sass. The result was too good not to post. I did realize that I forgot to add egg to it, so if you’re reading this, at the end, shove everything to the sides of the pan, pour a couple of scrambled eggs in the middle, cook, then mix it all together (diva!). Then, enjoy like the boss that you are.

I haven’t posted a recipe in forever, and since the blog is mostly a place for me to refer to things I want to cook more than once, I had to get this one written down. It’s basically just my thai chicken recipe with a few tweaks and put on a pork tenderloin. Pretty groundbreaking stuff. It is really fucking good though.

I’ve been making the california roll bowls for a bit now, and my family loved them. Then my kids stopped liking them so i switched to spam. Now they like them again. I also decided to grill it because i think it would look more appealing with grill lines. It totally does. Maybe in a few months i’ll have a new bowl.. mac and cheese or something? I dunno, kids are fickle.

Got a fancy blender for my birthday this year so I’ve been making smoothies basically every day. I’m a health person or something now. If you want to also get in on that smoothie life, try this. I used to do this with frozen fruit, but fresh fruit really does make a difference. Bonus, fruit doesn’t really go bad in the house anymore because I’m shoving the leftover stuff into a blender in the morning. Double health person.

I’m really trying to eat more vegetables, and since people keep raving about fennel (maybe i need to listen to new people), I wanted to give it a shot. I had some brussels sprouts on hand, as one does, and decided to just slice it all up thin and roast it together. Turns out, its a really good veggie combination. Even my kids like it. Do your kids eat brussels sprouts and fennel? They might if you try. Super basic recipe. Super basic bullshit.

Yep it’s a grilled cheese sandwich. Nothing mindblowing but I really like this combination of flavors. I’ve been throwing white cheddar and chili oil on anything i can, and it always comes out good. This is heavy though, so serve it with a salad. Also, if you like videos and instagram, check out my instagram for a video of this thing.

Had a bunch of broccoli in the fridge and wanted to figure out how to make it taste good with tacos, so I threw this together. It’s pretty good, i liked it, and it was very broccoli forward. My wife said it would be better without the broccoli. Try it like that too, why not. Either way, nice light side. I like it with the broccoli.

Do you have an extra hour to cook some mushroom stock before you make your steak tonight? You should probably get an extra hour cause this shit will impress the hell out of whoever you’re cooking it for (even yourself!). Even if you don’t do the gravy, this makes the rice crazy good. This would work well with just chicken too (just use chicken broth instead of water). Making stock is way easier than you think it is. Plus you get the extra satisfaction of making something and using it in a bunch of different stuff. Pretend you’re on Top Chef in a mushroom challenge or something. Take the extra time and make a good ass steak dinner.

I don’t really like sweet and savory flavors together. Unpopular opinion but it’s my cross to bear. Through trying various recipes for rubs for my pork tenderloins, chicken breasts, and eventually some pulled pork on the smoker, I settled on this combination of spices. It’s got some good savoriness to it, no sweet (cause again, fuck that. Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat till I die). As the title says, goes great on chicken and pork. Goes well when adding lime or orange juice to the rubbed meat. Would probably go great with some more spiciness to it. Try it out, let me know.

I know, shocking concept, putting something that’s not in a bowl into a bowl. Not breaking any ground here, but i got some imitation crab meat at the store the other week and started to play around with this. Turned out my kids liked it so I kept going with it. Turns out if you put “Kid Friendly” in your recipes they get more hits too. This is really a super easy weeknight dinner to throw together, and it lets you practice your knife skills. You can make it as nice looking as you want, and then just stir all that shit together so it doesn’t matter anymore. Or just stir it all together at the start. The world is your bowl of stuff you throw together and eat on a Tuesday.

I don’t know why I’ve never heard of hummus on a hot dog before. It’s really good. Add some crunch and some spice and you got yourself a hot dog baby. Anyway, I made a video on this one too since people told me to start making videos. It’s on tiktok. Follow, like, subscribe, etc, etc.

I watch a lot of Top Chef, and they always have the one episode where they make food thats personal to them, they cry, etc, then judges rip their food apart. This is what I’d probably bring to that episode. Growing up, fried chicken was my favorite thing that my mom would make, jalapeno chips were one of the pinnacle snacks my dad got me into, and recently i started going to Popeye’s for their chicken sandwich because its pretty good. This is a combination of all of those things. Shit works. It’s super crunchy, has a nice subtle heat (more if you can actually get some spicy jalapenos, better leave those seeds in), and the ranch is a great condiment that brings it all together. Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad. Thanks, recent trend of fast food restaurants making good fried chicken sandwiches.

I’ve been working on this meatball recipe for a while. Turns out the trick to a good meatball is to just keep adding more decadent shit like cheese and garlic confit. Really not much else to say. These will be pretty good if you just cook them in the oven or a pan, but you really should simmer them in some sauce. Everything in them makes a sauce better. Take a day. Pretend you’re an old italian grandma. Put these in sauce for a few hours. Eat. Drink some wine.

Had some green beans lying around and wanted something close to what I remember having at Chinese restaurants. Threw some sauces together i had in my fridge and pantry. Had some garlic too. Made these. They’re good.

Stuffing (Yes, stuffing. Dressing is a dumb name.) is my favorite side at Thanksgiving, and it’s something I had never actually made until this year. Due to a crazy turn of events this year, all of the family had Thanskgiving at home this year, so I managed to snag my Moms’s stuffing recipe, tweak it a little, and here it is. I prefer my stuffing a little less soggy, so I don’t want to add any egg or stick it in the turkey or anything like that. Going for something that soaks up gravy and has a bit of a crunch to it, which you get with both the bread and the browned sausage in here. Smash it up with leftover mashed potatoes the next day and shove it in a waffle iron for my bonus leftovers recipe.